Anti Social..

When did I come anti social? It must have slowly creeped up on me and taken over in a ninja kind of way.
Let me explain
.
 My daughter had a very good friend of hers that drove all with way from Iowa to Texas to see her and spend the week sight seeing and hanging out. They have been using our house as a kind of home base as you will. (a place to crash after a long day, and clean up to head out for the next day.) Both of these boys (they are both 20yrs old) are very considerate and helpful, I have no complaint about them as guests in my home. I couldn't have asked for better company to share my home with.

So why is it that I was ready for  them to leave a couple of days after they got here??
It's my personal space I have decided. I am very comfortable being by myself. Well not completely by myself, I surround myself with a few, very close people....and the rest, well they can go about their business as all as they leave me alone.
WoW. I never thought that I would ever get to that point.

But I am so happy with the way things are...that I don't mind sharing for a day or two...but after that, I am ready to get back to my personal space.

Maybe I am getting old. Maybe my inner Monk is working overtime to try and take control.

I do know that I am looking forward to getting back to my quite evenings,,,just to myself. (right now I an blogging this from the our bathroom floor in our room since it is the quietest part of the house right now!!
Yeah...it is as funny looking as it sounds. LOLOL)

Here's to getting back to some peace and quite tomarrow!   =]

Clever Ideas Worth Knowing

Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store.
If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster

Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating.
Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.

Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef.
It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.

To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of
Spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.

For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.

Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simply chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!!  Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yummm!

To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.

Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and ... Ta DA! ... Static is gone.

Gift

I received in the mail this week a "gift" of sorts from my mother. She mailed it just in time for me to get it right before Mother's Day.
The note she included with it explained that she had been going through old boxes and had ran across this letter that she have written to me when i was 13 years old. She said that she wanted me to have it now.

I reopened that letter she had written to me all those years ago and I have to be honest. I don't ever remember getting that letter. I don't ever remember my mother saying all those loving things to me whether written or said aloud. In this letter she says how proud she is of me, How she knows that she can be stubborn when it comes to me. That when the teenage years come that we will face them together and get through them. How she knows that she doesn't tell me how much she loves me and is proud of me.

I can tell you that we did not and do not have the mother daughter relationship that she had hoped for. If not for my husband these past few years we would have no  relationship at all.

There is alot of water....OK more like raging rapids, under that bridge for both of us. So even though we have a very tentative relationship at best, it is still something.
To have my mother pass this letter on to me, or should I say, back to me....... I really didn't know what to think. Or even how to feel about it.

So for now, I am choosing to take this as a small olive branch of peace from her. As for how I feel about it............still not sure. I read that letter through eyes that has seen alot on my life's journey. Because of my husband I have been able to fill in alot of those "pot holes" on that road which helped me to look/read it with a softer set of eyes and heart.
 But since I know my mom,(and her history) I am going to hold back on the feeling part for abit.
Unless it is proven otherwise I will accept the olive branch and see where she goes from here.

Banx

I was over at My Kids Might Be Martins this evening and she was sharing an update about their recent adoptive dog Brody. He sounds so much like our Banx that I just had to share a picture.

Our Banx loves to go for rides in the truck. He too LOVES the front seat. Now you have to picture that our dog is is about 75 pounds. Our truck is a Ford Ranger extended cab. Which pretty much means that it has two bucket seats in the front and enough space in behind the seats to fit two small kids. Yeah..not alot of space in the back but it gets us where we need to go.

There have been times when I have taken my daughter to work and Banx needs to ride in the back seat. He is not at all happy with this arrangement to say the least. He will huff and pout to make his point about how unfair it is that he has to ride in the back all the way to her work. (which by the way is about 10 mins from the house!!LOL)

The picture below was taken when he was expressing his dislike for the whole seating arrangement!!
I was laughing so hard that my daughter had to take the pic!!

Now that is a look that says.....You have got to be kidding!!!!!  LOLOLOLOL

Easter

Somehow the Easter Bunny forgot to let me know that Easter is this Sunday!!
Not that we celebrate Easter for the "mainstream" religious views of that day.
When I look back on all those years of cooking a big meal for everyone, hiding eggs for the kids, it was just me following a tradition that was passed down to me from my mother. Oh we went to church on an occasional Easter Sunday, but never in any regular fashion.
It was pretty much, all about the big fancy meal and the company that came over to eat it with you. (not to mention all the leftovers you had for a week after!!)

My kids are all grown up now. No more Easter egg hunts and baskets to get and fill.
So what does Easter mean to me? It's a reminder of Spring. That depending on where you live, that Spring is starting to show it's self or that it is well on it's way.
Easter is about new life. The birth of babies of all kinds. The renewal of life. The cycle continuing.

So, Easter for us will be different than that of my mother's handed down tradition.
We well be hitting the beach on Sunday morning for a walk and a picnic lunch. Then back home to fire up the BBQ and have a relaxing cook out.
I will also be sending out my many thanks to the Goddess for all of her blessings upon us too.

If you are celebrating Easter in a more tradition fashion, then may for day be filled with good food and friends,
If you are celebrating this day with little ones, enjoy the egg hunts and even that plastic grass in the bottom of the Easter baskets. This kids grow up so fast!!
If you are more like me than blessings to you and yours today. May your travels be safe and your b
r;omd pu sjf upid'
brights bl;
rdomhd nr many! 

Blooms

Some pictures of wild flowers that where in full bloom here on the coast a few weeks ago.
(taken by my husband because he is far better at capturing the moment than I )

My mini garden of tomato plants and herbs is also planted and well on it's way. I have roses already blooming  in the flower beds and have begun drying and storing them.
I am really looking forward to being able to use the fresh herbs this summer in my cooking as well as my craft.

Banx, our newest 4 legged family member has settled in quite nicely. This picture was taken by my husband when he got up in the morning to get ready for work. He came out into the living room to find Banx sound asleep on the couch!! Yes. I would say he has made himself right at home! =]

Darkness..

Because sometimes no matter how hard I try, the inky blackness the lurks in the shadows of my mind seeps in.

In the darkness I awake

In the dreams that I can not shake

Panic strong and strangling me

In its grip I can not break free

Feeling the weight pulling me down

Engulfed I am till I am feeling drowned

Screaming, clawing, and fighting to open my eyes

My thoughts racing to seek out the site of my mind’s eye

Your face…

Your love…

My life….

One last time…

With no air left in my lungs I surge forward yet again

Screaming, clawing, fighting,  breaking through the darkness

My eyes open wide now staring at the light

Knowing I received One More Day to see..

Your face…

Your love…

My life…

Finally..!!

FINALLY!! A computer prompt I can understand.

Newest Addition

It had dawned on me this week that it has been a long time since I last blogged about...anything.

I seemed to have gotten swallowed up by life and am now only getting back to the surface to breath.

Let me see if I can but the last month or so into a "cliff note" of some sort.

In February we welcomed into our home a Golden Retriever. We adopted him from a rescue group that is out of Austin area. I had started the ball rolling on the adoption process in December. There where several stages to go through but in the end it was so worth it. We where matched up with this very handsome 2 year old. He came to us with the name Banx, and since he seems to answer to it, we kept that name.

Everyone....meet Banx!



First night home after being picked up from his foster parents



His first time in the bay by our home



He found the native birds to most interesting!



After a day playing in the water, what better way to relax than on the couch



Feeling more and more at relaxed in his new home



He has done wonderfully adapting to our home and our life style. He is fully house trained and has had some obedience training as well before coming to us, his forever home.
He keeps me motivate with our morning walks everyday. Which is good for me and great exercise for him. He is friendly to all he meets and had just been a blessing for our family all the way around.

The weather here is in full Spring Bloom mode. I have been working in the front and backyard getting ready for flowers and vegetables. I should be able to get some of my planting done this coming week! Very excited for all the spring colors and the herbs I want to plant this year. I already have roses blooming and am drying them when they are done.

I have also had abit of a wake up call or rather a slap from my beloved Goddess to get my act together about my health. I have made the dreaded Dr.s appt. and will be addressing those issues coming up soon.

I do want to tell all of you that I have still checked in from time to time to read your blogs and try to stay current. I enjoy each and every one of you that takes the time to blog!! Lots of good info and some light hearted stories to keep a smile on my face. Thank you.  =]

Fear

I saw this church sign while I was out and about this past weekend. So taken aback by it that I decided to stop and take a picture to share.

At first I was angry at what I read. What a way to teach a message to your followers. Fill them with fear. If they are afraid then they will be more willing to do what you want them to do. (Now, I am not picking on the Lutheran faith. I am meaning this in an over all opinion about "organized" religion.)

But mostly reading this make me sad. Sad that so many (my family and many friends) believe that their religion is the only right one. That all of those who don't believe a certain way are domed in the end. That when they talk to me about how righteous their way is, they are also looking at me with pity in their eyes. For you see, since I don't believe in their way, then I will not go to their heaven and instead will be living the rest of my afterlife in their hell.
I know that a structured belief system gets many, many people through each day. The hard times they have and offers them comfort they need too. 

It's sad in a way to me that these people will never know what it is like to truly feel what is around them. That when they look at the moon they will never feel her power or pull. That they complain about the sun instead of feeling the heat that goes soul deep.

So I take a deep breath. Give my thanks to the God and Goddess and take a moment to feel the energy around me.
Blessing be.

Icy

I had to double check my driver's licenses. Yep. Still live in Texas.
But last night I was having some major flash back of the nasty ice storms we have been through in the Midwest.
We woke up this morning to ice covered palm tress and tropical plants weighed down due to the amount of ice.

I could have made a few extra dollars this morning by renting out my old ice scraper for all of those windshields. But even without the scraper many where using an assortment of kitchen utensils! The spatula seem the most popular today.

The sun is now trying to peak through the clouds and our temps are going back up. WooHoo!!

Looking forward to more normal temps this weekend!!

Frank'n Blanket

Yep. That's right. I have created................a monster of a blanket!


Now in my minds eye when I started this thing it was a fabulous piece of crochet work. All the crocheted blocks where the same size. All the stitches that bound those blocks together where evenly spaced. The color pattern was one to be admired and left one wondering "How did she do that?"


Ummm....that is not how my very first blanket turned out. I have affectionately dubbed this first blanket the "Frank'n Blanket".


My blocks are not the same size. My stitches to bind them together are at the very most functional.(far from being pleasant to the eye) My inner "Monk" I like to call it, just shrieks at me every time I look at it in detail. My Monk points out all the things (no straight lines, blocks not evenly spaced..you get the idea) that are "wrong" with it. And it sure as heck does not look like anything my mother ever made. How come mine turned out like the crocheted version of Frankenstein and my mothers always looked so easy and picture perfect?? Oh..yeah, that's right. She had way more practice than I did!!
Y'all, I weighed it today and it is 6 pounds!! I had to do a double take. Yep. 6 pounds. Man. That's like giving birth to another child!


My daughter says it has personality. My husband (bless his heart) says he will keep it forever!


What I like about my Frank'n Blanket is that it is the first I have ever made. It is the first one that I have ever completed. It was on my get accomplished this year list. It is heavy and very warm and was made with love. (smiles) That's what makes it the best.


So without further ado...let me introduce..... FRANK'N BLANKET

Pet Note

This has to be one of my all time favorite e-mails that goes around from time to time. Just thought I would post it to maybe put a smile on someones face today.
Enjoy!!

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that is is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Rainy days and Sundays

This past weekend we had nothing but rain. Good for the ground but not so much in the way of doing stuff outside.

Despite the rain and cool weather we where treated to our local wildlife hanging out in the bay across the street from us. My husband was able to snap a few shots of our visitors and I wanted to share with you all.

The pelicans where doing some heavy feeding. (Pictured above is the flock of white ones) They would swim together and chase the fish into the corner of the sea wall and then dive after them.

They also came at the fish from the air. Diving out of the sky to hit the water with such force that it would sound like a thrown stone into the bay.  

Even the rain did not detour them. Make them abit soggy maybe, but still they stayed.

When the rain would let up, they would gather wherever they felt like to dry off.

They even had the attention of some of the "regulars" with all their noise and carrying on's!

Hormones running amuck

"We are drowning in a sea of girly hormones". A quote from my husband last night as we tried to find a more suitable way to keep from tieing up our daughter and duct tapping her mouth shut.

I know that this sounds really harsh. But for any of you who have had a 19 year old female in your home you know exactly what I am talking about.

This is pretty much how an average month goes with our hormonal daughter.

The first week that she is done with her cycle and back on the pill, she is mellow, loving, patience and pretty much all around normal.

Week two comes along and you start to see small changes. She gets annoyed at something that happened at work or the fact that she ran out of clean underwear.

Week three comes at us like whirling wind. She flys through the house hell bent on baking the first thing that comes to mind. One month she baked cupcakes, THREE different kinds of cheesecake  and cookies. This was all done in a one week time frame. Besides the baking  she also starts  turning into this crazy version of my daughter. Snappy at times, the patience she once had earlier went running for cover.
And the loving part?? Oh yea...she's got the loving part, TIMES TWO!! But not for Mom and Dad. For anything that resembles a man!

Week four finds our family tired, from all of her crazy pent up energy. We are stuffed with all the baked goods she has made, and if I hear one more time "That guy is so HOT I am gonna marry him" one more time I am going to scream!!!












Yes I love her to death. Yes she is one BC pills. (could you imagine her without them?) No I have not had a cycle since 2001  then the doctors put me on HRT therapy.
The hormones are all from her!! 

Here's to another month survived with girly!!! 

Goals

Goals.
Definition : the result or achievement toward which effort is directed

This past year has seen many changes for our family. Many goals that where made where meet and achieved.
The beginning of 2010 saw us packing up everything we owned and moving south across this country. A new place to live was found, and jobs where filled. We layed loved one's to rest, and helped the best we could with the one's that are left. We fulfilled all of the comments we made to others in a timely manner and even stole a few moments for ourselves.

Goals:
This year I am going to set goals for myself. Not many. Just a few. They won't be about loosing weight, eating better or exercising more. All of those are very good things to strive for in one's life.
No, for me it will be about "giving myself a break". My husband told me that last night as he held me in his arms while I broke down and cried. You see, I admitted to him last night just how much I struggle with my demons of the past.
Sometimes they are so overwhelming that all I can hear is their nasty voice in my head, tearing me down.

I could tell you the whys and what's of how they came to be there, but that will not help me obtain my goal.
"Giving myself a break" for me will be to live in each day. Rehashing the past does not change what happened and only serves to taint or ruin the day you are in.
My goal is to truly believe that I am all my husband needs, loves and wants. (not to give it the lip service of "I know" when he tells me) That I make him happy just by loving him. (not by what I cook or how I clean)
To believe that I am a good mom/parent. That I did the best for my kids when life didn't turn out the way I envisioned it.
To believe that I am as good of a person that I keep striving to be.
This road will not be easy. It will be measured in a day by day way, and sometimes hour to hour. I know I can do this though. I have already started with the beginning of the witch's new year. Some days are just harder to get through than others. But I will not give up! I will not loose myself again. This time, I am fighting every step of the way.

The other personal goals are directed towards my spiritual self. My continued study and practice of the Pagan way. I Just started receiving several of the books that I ordered on-line. Very excited about going through them and learning all I can.

Our family will see changes too this year. From my daughter finally getting her own car in a few months to the addition of another 4 legged friend.
We are moved, we are settled, and we belong here more than any other place I have ever been. It is time to get down to the "living" of this life.