I received in the mail this week a "gift" of sorts from my mother. She mailed it just in time for me to get it right before Mother's Day.
The note she included with it explained that she had been going through old boxes and had ran across this letter that she have written to me when i was 13 years old. She said that she wanted me to have it now.
I reopened that letter she had written to me all those years ago and I have to be honest. I don't ever remember getting that letter. I don't ever remember my mother saying all those loving things to me whether written or said aloud. In this letter she says how proud she is of me, How she knows that she can be stubborn when it comes to me. That when the teenage years come that we will face them together and get through them. How she knows that she doesn't tell me how much she loves me and is proud of me.
I can tell you that we did not and do not have the mother daughter relationship that she had hoped for. If not for my husband these past few years we would have no relationship at all.
There is alot of water....OK more like raging rapids, under that bridge for both of us. So even though we have a very tentative relationship at best, it is still something.
To have my mother pass this letter on to me, or should I say, back to me....... I really didn't know what to think. Or even how to feel about it.
So for now, I am choosing to take this as a small olive branch of peace from her. As for how I feel about it............still not sure. I read that letter through eyes that has seen alot on my life's journey. Because of my husband I have been able to fill in alot of those "pot holes" on that road which helped me to look/read it with a softer set of eyes and heart.
But since I know my mom,(and her history) I am going to hold back on the feeling part for abit.
Unless it is proven otherwise I will accept the olive branch and see where she goes from here.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Banx
I was over at My Kids Might Be Martins this evening and she was sharing an update about their recent adoptive dog Brody. He sounds so much like our Banx that I just had to share a picture.
Our Banx loves to go for rides in the truck. He too LOVES the front seat. Now you have to picture that our dog is is about 75 pounds. Our truck is a Ford Ranger extended cab. Which pretty much means that it has two bucket seats in the front and enough space in behind the seats to fit two small kids. Yeah..not alot of space in the back but it gets us where we need to go.
There have been times when I have taken my daughter to work and Banx needs to ride in the back seat. He is not at all happy with this arrangement to say the least. He will huff and pout to make his point about how unfair it is that he has to ride in the back all the way to her work. (which by the way is about 10 mins from the house!!LOL)
The picture below was taken when he was expressing his dislike for the whole seating arrangement!!
I was laughing so hard that my daughter had to take the pic!!
Now that is a look that says.....You have got to be kidding!!!!! LOLOLOLOL
Our Banx loves to go for rides in the truck. He too LOVES the front seat. Now you have to picture that our dog is is about 75 pounds. Our truck is a Ford Ranger extended cab. Which pretty much means that it has two bucket seats in the front and enough space in behind the seats to fit two small kids. Yeah..not alot of space in the back but it gets us where we need to go.
There have been times when I have taken my daughter to work and Banx needs to ride in the back seat. He is not at all happy with this arrangement to say the least. He will huff and pout to make his point about how unfair it is that he has to ride in the back all the way to her work. (which by the way is about 10 mins from the house!!LOL)
The picture below was taken when he was expressing his dislike for the whole seating arrangement!!
I was laughing so hard that my daughter had to take the pic!!
Friday, April 22, 2011
Easter
Somehow the Easter Bunny forgot to let me know that Easter is this Sunday!!
Not that we celebrate Easter for the "mainstream" religious views of that day.
When I look back on all those years of cooking a big meal for everyone, hiding eggs for the kids, it was just me following a tradition that was passed down to me from my mother. Oh we went to church on an occasional Easter Sunday, but never in any regular fashion.
It was pretty much, all about the big fancy meal and the company that came over to eat it with you. (not to mention all the leftovers you had for a week after!!)
My kids are all grown up now. No more Easter egg hunts and baskets to get and fill.
So what does Easter mean to me? It's a reminder of Spring. That depending on where you live, that Spring is starting to show it's self or that it is well on it's way.
Easter is about new life. The birth of babies of all kinds. The renewal of life. The cycle continuing.
So, Easter for us will be different than that of my mother's handed down tradition.
We well be hitting the beach on Sunday morning for a walk and a picnic lunch. Then back home to fire up the BBQ and have a relaxing cook out.
I will also be sending out my many thanks to the Goddess for all of her blessings upon us too.
If you are celebrating Easter in a more tradition fashion, then may for day be filled with good food and friends,
If you are celebrating this day with little ones, enjoy the egg hunts and even that plastic grass in the bottom of the Easter baskets. This kids grow up so fast!!
If you are more like me than blessings to you and yours today. May your travels be safe and your b
r;omd pu sjf upid'
brights bl;
rdomhd nr many!
Not that we celebrate Easter for the "mainstream" religious views of that day.
When I look back on all those years of cooking a big meal for everyone, hiding eggs for the kids, it was just me following a tradition that was passed down to me from my mother. Oh we went to church on an occasional Easter Sunday, but never in any regular fashion.
It was pretty much, all about the big fancy meal and the company that came over to eat it with you. (not to mention all the leftovers you had for a week after!!)
My kids are all grown up now. No more Easter egg hunts and baskets to get and fill.
So what does Easter mean to me? It's a reminder of Spring. That depending on where you live, that Spring is starting to show it's self or that it is well on it's way.
Easter is about new life. The birth of babies of all kinds. The renewal of life. The cycle continuing.
So, Easter for us will be different than that of my mother's handed down tradition.
We well be hitting the beach on Sunday morning for a walk and a picnic lunch. Then back home to fire up the BBQ and have a relaxing cook out.
I will also be sending out my many thanks to the Goddess for all of her blessings upon us too.
If you are celebrating Easter in a more tradition fashion, then may for day be filled with good food and friends,
If you are celebrating this day with little ones, enjoy the egg hunts and even that plastic grass in the bottom of the Easter baskets. This kids grow up so fast!!
If you are more like me than blessings to you and yours today. May your travels be safe and your b
r;omd pu sjf upid'
brights bl;
rdomhd nr many!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Blooms
Some pictures of wild flowers that where in full bloom here on the coast a few weeks ago.
(taken by my husband because he is far better at capturing the moment than I )
My mini garden of tomato plants and herbs is also planted and well on it's way. I have roses already blooming in the flower beds and have begun drying and storing them.
I am really looking forward to being able to use the fresh herbs this summer in my cooking as well as my craft.
Banx, our newest 4 legged family member has settled in quite nicely. This picture was taken by my husband when he got up in the morning to get ready for work. He came out into the living room to find Banx sound asleep on the couch!! Yes. I would say he has made himself right at home! =]
(taken by my husband because he is far better at capturing the moment than I )
I am really looking forward to being able to use the fresh herbs this summer in my cooking as well as my craft.
Banx, our newest 4 legged family member has settled in quite nicely. This picture was taken by my husband when he got up in the morning to get ready for work. He came out into the living room to find Banx sound asleep on the couch!! Yes. I would say he has made himself right at home! =]
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Darkness..
Because sometimes no matter how hard I try, the inky blackness the lurks in the shadows of my mind seeps in.
My thoughts racing to seek out the site of my mind’s eye
In the darkness I awake
In the dreams that I can not shake
Panic strong and strangling me
In its grip I can not break free
Feeling the weight pulling me down
Engulfed I am till I am feeling drowned
Screaming, clawing, and fighting to open my eyes
My thoughts racing to seek out the site of my mind’s eye
Your face…
Your love…
My life….
One last time…
With no air left in my lungs I surge forward yet again
Screaming, clawing, fighting, breaking through the darkness
My eyes open wide now staring at the light
Knowing I received One More Day to see..
Your face…
Your love…
My life…
Monday, March 28, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Newest Addition
It had dawned on me this week that it has been a long time since I last blogged about...anything.
I seemed to have gotten swallowed up by life and am now only getting back to the surface to breath.
Let me see if I can but the last month or so into a "cliff note" of some sort.
In February we welcomed into our home a Golden Retriever. We adopted him from a rescue group that is out of Austin area. I had started the ball rolling on the adoption process in December. There where several stages to go through but in the end it was so worth it. We where matched up with this very handsome 2 year old. He came to us with the name Banx, and since he seems to answer to it, we kept that name.
Everyone....meet Banx!
He has done wonderfully adapting to our home and our life style. He is fully house trained and has had some obedience training as well before coming to us, his forever home.
He keeps me motivate with our morning walks everyday. Which is good for me and great exercise for him. He is friendly to all he meets and had just been a blessing for our family all the way around.
The weather here is in full Spring Bloom mode. I have been working in the front and backyard getting ready for flowers and vegetables. I should be able to get some of my planting done this coming week! Very excited for all the spring colors and the herbs I want to plant this year. I already have roses blooming and am drying them when they are done.
I have also had abit of a wake up call or rather a slap from my beloved Goddess to get my act together about my health. I have made the dreaded Dr.s appt. and will be addressing those issues coming up soon.
I do want to tell all of you that I have still checked in from time to time to read your blogs and try to stay current. I enjoy each and every one of you that takes the time to blog!! Lots of good info and some light hearted stories to keep a smile on my face. Thank you. =]
I seemed to have gotten swallowed up by life and am now only getting back to the surface to breath.
Let me see if I can but the last month or so into a "cliff note" of some sort.
In February we welcomed into our home a Golden Retriever. We adopted him from a rescue group that is out of Austin area. I had started the ball rolling on the adoption process in December. There where several stages to go through but in the end it was so worth it. We where matched up with this very handsome 2 year old. He came to us with the name Banx, and since he seems to answer to it, we kept that name.
Everyone....meet Banx!
 |
| First night home after being picked up from his foster parents |
 |
| His first time in the bay by our home |
 |
| He found the native birds to most interesting! |
 |
| After a day playing in the water, what better way to relax than on the couch |
 |
| Feeling more and more at relaxed in his new home |
He has done wonderfully adapting to our home and our life style. He is fully house trained and has had some obedience training as well before coming to us, his forever home.
He keeps me motivate with our morning walks everyday. Which is good for me and great exercise for him. He is friendly to all he meets and had just been a blessing for our family all the way around.
The weather here is in full Spring Bloom mode. I have been working in the front and backyard getting ready for flowers and vegetables. I should be able to get some of my planting done this coming week! Very excited for all the spring colors and the herbs I want to plant this year. I already have roses blooming and am drying them when they are done.
I have also had abit of a wake up call or rather a slap from my beloved Goddess to get my act together about my health. I have made the dreaded Dr.s appt. and will be addressing those issues coming up soon.
I do want to tell all of you that I have still checked in from time to time to read your blogs and try to stay current. I enjoy each and every one of you that takes the time to blog!! Lots of good info and some light hearted stories to keep a smile on my face. Thank you. =]
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